Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you’ll have a good and spooky day whatever you are doing 🙂 Today the gremlins had a bit of fun with this blog post, making sure it didn’t post on schedule as planned. I’ve had to re-write the post and upload it again, so I hope those of you who missed it earlier will still be able to take the time to check it out 🙂
Because today is Halloween, I wanted to share with you a story (a very short story at just over 300 words!) which I first shared a couple of years ago online. It’s the only story I ever shared online and I’ve since re-edited it a little bit. I hope you all enjoy this spooky and slightly weird tale, and please let me know what you think of my writing. I’m still building up my own confidence in writing fiction but if I hear you like it, I might just try to write more in future 🙂 🙂 🙂
Her Presence
He awoke with a sudden jolt, his eyes still closed, he knew something wasn’t right. She made her presence known to him.
He felt her rub against his leg playfully before making her way to his chest. He could feel her body wrap around his, her spirit seducing him with its intensity. She was restless.
He felt her move upwards, towards his face. He knew what she was going to do, she did it every morning.
He always gave in, she always won. But not this time, he wouldn’t allow it.
He couldn’t let it happen, not again. He wouldn’t let her do it, he would not open his eyes.
It’s how she would win, that intense stare, those beautiful hypnotic eyes boring into his heart, melting his very soul until he could do nothing but give in.
But not this time. He wouldn’t let her win. If only he could keep his eyes closed, perhaps he’d fall back asleep, then she’d have no choice, she would have to leave him be.
But as he felt something soft brush his chin, he already knew it was too late. She was upon him. Those beautiful mesmerising green eyes looking lovingly at his, her intensity urging him to open them, to see her beauty, to hear her message.
He gave in. He opened his eyes. He looked at her.
She was so beautiful, so close, her eyes were all that he could see, but it was enough. Her message became clear in his mind.
A dreaded feeling filled his body as he remembered. He realised the truth. A truth he could no longer ignore.
She had won. And now she would collect her prize.
He sat up and nodded. He knew what he had to do.
Tomorrow he would win. Tomorrow he would sleep late. But today was hers. She would feast.
He got up and headed downstairs. She had won, he would feed her, he would feed his cat.
-Story first appeared online October 2017 – re-edited and now republished here.
What did you think of this tale with a twist? Did you guess the twist? Would you like me to write more stories in the future and share them here (no twists guaranteed though)? Let me know what you think in the comments below 🙂
The Strawberry Post 
I like it, well done 🙂
My cat is like that too… and he’s black, so extra spooky 😉
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Yay, I’m glad you liked it 😀 Yes, black cats are definitely good at blending into the darkness, lol, but I’m sure he’s very gorgeous too 🙂
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He does blend into the darkness, although he has a few white hairs among the mainly black hairs.
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Aww, I love it when the fur looks like that 🙂 The tuxedo black and white cat I used to have got more and more white hairs on her black coat the older she got 😮
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Black cats tend to go a bit ‘rusty’ too. I just love cats.
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Aww, they are so cute. Yes, cats are the best 🙂 They’re actually my favourite animal! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🐱🐱
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Cats are the best animal 🙂
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I like it. If you don’t mind me saying though, there are several places where it could have been improved by employing the “show, don’t tell,” technique. Like, don’t tell us she was restless, show us. Sorry if you weren’t looking for that kind of feedback, but you asked what we thought, so… *shrugs*
Anyway, I’d love to see more of your stories.
Hope you had a happy Halloween!
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Thank you 🙂 Happy belated Halloween to you too!
Don’t worry, I am happy to receive all feedback whether positive or negative and thank you for the advice I shall use it to improve my writing for the future, I do know that show is such an important feature in stories. Please don’t feel you can’t ever be honest here, I’m not like some people where I easily get hurt from criticism. I think I’ve become resilient and open-minded through years of difficulties lol…more information than I planned to share there. Thank you, I’ll definitely keep up the writing, I’ve finially gotten some confidence back in writing and I don’t want to give up now I’ve started again 🙂
Happy Bonfire night too, I hope your pets won’t be too scared with any fireworks you may have, I know my cat wasn’t a fan of them when she was allive and we’ve had a lot of them going off all week over here!
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That’s a great attitude to have as a writer, especially now you’re sharing your work again. I’m glad you are. Keep up the writing. 🙂
Happy Bonfire Night to you too!
Luckily, my furbabies aren’t too bad about fireworks. I put something like a movie or audio book on most evenings anyhow, and it helps cover the sounds of the smaller ones, and at least stops the louder ones seeming like they came out of nowhere, which I think helps them. It’s mostly only Logan who gets upset of the furkids I have these days. But cuddle time soothes him, and I’m happy to cuddle up with him, so things calm down pretty quickly as a rule. I’m quite relieved about that, since where we are ends up having fireworks on and off most of the year, since they seem to feel they’re an essential part of the finale of all events, and being a seaside town there are a lot of events (especially in the Summer, though there are a few in the Winter too).
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Thank you 🙂 It’s good that they are okay with the fireworks for the most part, I can’t imagine what it’s like to live somewhere with constant fireworks during every celebration. Over here they seem to only go off around Halloween-Bonfire night and New Year. I can still remember that before the year 2000 they never used to go off at new year or any other time of year but bonfire night, lol !
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I remember that too. As much as I like fireworks, I kind of wish it was still that way, especially for the sake of the animals.
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I think remember this one from when you posted it before. It’s brilliant! You build the tension so well and leave it until the very last word to reveal who ‘she’ is! Well done, Cat!
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Thank you so much!! I’m glad you liked it and it reads well, I don’t have many story ideas with twists but this one just popped into my head and I wondered if I could achieve it…I made myself laugh when I read this back to myself recently! 😀
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🙂
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If you wanted to, you could write short stories and narrate them on YouTube, maybe draw a few pictures to go with them. Just an idea though!
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Wow, I hadn’t thought of that, that’s actually a good idea, I’ll have to try that one day! No idea if my drawing skills are any good though, theyr’e a bit hit and miss, lol. Thank you so much for the idea 😀 😀 😀
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Np! Practicing basic animals everyday will help out a ton btw
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