So this week has been a bit of a tough one for me, with a lot of personal and family things happening which have made it very difficult to cope, on top of that I also promised to do some things like blog tours which I’m now stressing about as I’m behind and don’t like to disappoint anyone (I know it’s my own doing this stress so I’m just hurting myself but still…).  I also ran out of pre-scheduled posts so that’s why this one is going out later than planned and that’s another reason for my stress. :/  At the weekend I’ve just felt quite bad in terms of my mood and so decided to write some poetry as this is one way in which I am able to relieve the pressure of all the negative thoughts which sometimes enter my head.  I wrote this and was a bit raw at the time of writing so I hope it sounds alright, I think there is one part where there are too many syllables for the rhyming pattern to fit, but the words felt right and I just wanted to leave it, as is, and see what you think.

I hope you all are feeling alright in the run up to Christmas and are getting excited for a holiday regardless of whether you celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, a simple get together with family and friends (which hopefully you’ll get to do) or another holiday around the same time of year such as the winter solstice. 🙂  I’m looking forward to Christmas, I’ve always been a bit of a Christmas fanatic, and hopefully this Christmas can be as normal as possible for all of us. 🙂  Anyway on to the poem…

Torn Apart

©The Strawberry Post

I don’t know what I can do,
I don’t know what to say,
All I do know is that,
I don’t want to feel this way.

I feel so very tired,
I feel I’m losing my mind,
All I do know is that,
I don’t want to feel so blind.

I’m starting to not cope now,
I’m starting to worry,
I wish I could feel good but,
I’m starting to feel guilty.

I’m really feeling pressure,
I’m really going to cry,
I wish things could be different,
But instead I’m going to lie.

Pretend that all is normal,
Pretend that I’ll be just fine,
When deep inside my mind is,
About to cross a line.

I don’t know what I should do,
I don’t know how to voice,
That my heart is now breaking,
I don’t feel I have a choice.

I feel I’m going crazy,
I feel I’m torn apart,
One side of me still coping,
While other wants to depart.

Will anybody help me?
Will anybody see?
Tears of joy are really,
All a desperate plea.

I wish I didn’t feel this,
I wish I wasn’t blue,
All I wish is someone,
Could see my true value.

What do you think of this poem?  How are you feeling about the run up to Christmas?  Let me know what you think in the comments below 🙂